At least that’s what I experienced at lot of times – and again this time. My wife wrote an entire post about it last year. I’m not too bad, actually, but I ended up being disappointed and slightly depressed. Maybe part of the problem are the raised expectations: everything I cannot accomplish in normal everyday life must be accomplished in the next holidays, respectively school break (that is now). And I’m not yet talking about relaxation and well-earned rebound…
There were some obvious reasons, too: my computer broke, and after it had been repaired, it broke again. Just when I planned to start some bigger work on songs that I had projected months ago. For this reason, and some others, I feel thwarted. Nearly anything I am currently starting to do has kind of a brake attached to it. Mostly I just begin for a few minutes and then I’m forced to stop.
Family life is a permanent tug-of-war with all three of us feeling missed out. Many things around the house and the garden have to be fixed, and each item seems to block the other.
But then I was looking forward to the ultimate compensation for all this: I ordered a new guitar amplifier, the one that I have been looking for for years. When it was delivered, I realized it was damaged during transportation, and now I’ve got all the trouble sending it back, getting another one etc.
So, that’s the news from me. Right in the middle of the time I thought I would be composing and recording like crazy. Sorry, folks, I’m sure there are better times to come, and I will keep up with trying to stay motivated. There’s more music and some blog posts prepared, standing by. And there will be three posts coming soon about a very special guitar I’ll have to part with…
it is a tug of war. but luckily it’s a delicious off center no one wins yet still sweet smelling sort of affair.
Life is like this sometimes … and once you come through it, there’s a great burst of energy on the other side. The balance …
I wonder if you can look at this pattern of broken, broken, broken symbolically. Where is the message behind the surface frustrations? What is in the deeper layers?
I hope I don’t come off as uncaring and smug when I say this. It’s reflecting a lesson I am working on right now in my own life.